Seen and Accepted

Two of the most common points of positive feedback we get from our teens is that they have felt seen and accepted. The interesting thing about this, though, is that being seen is not an emotion; it is something sensory that happens from one person to another. To be seen is concrete – it’s factual. A person is either seen or they are not. But what a person might mean by saying they feel they are seen is that they are noticed – their individuality, uniqueness, personality, interests, and even their little quirks.

To be seen on this level can be scary, because it is a prerequisite to either acceptance or rejection. Being seen often requires a certain level of vulnerability and expression that most of our teens are nervous to allow for themselves. Especially for those who have wounds from abuse that has happened at the most vulnerable levels. Perhaps someone that was supposed to take care of them insulted their personality, abilities, or little quirks – which are a huge hit for a young developing person, and cause more damage than we might realize.

Seeing our teens for who they are, and making it known they are seen, could invoke reactions that are unexpected because of the trauma they have endured – but it also brings healing. The key to this is to let them know they are fully accepted once this place of vulnerability is reached.

At Koinonia, we have historically done this in concrete ways. We have celebrated our youth’s personalities, gifts, accomplishments, and more. This has been done in tremendous ways by staff and volunteers. In particular, a tradition from a volunteer has been taking place over the last five years – whenever a teen has a birthday, our volunteer bakes a cake. But this is no ordinary cake; it is a professionally done extravagant work of art. They resemble the quality of a cake we might expect at a wedding celebration, but to our teens, they are even more special; each cake is individualized to express the birthday boy or girl’s personality, interests, and quirks. Through cake and birthday celebrations, our teens are seen and accepted!

Check out some pictures of these amazing cakes below